I'm a Pakistani General and I think Rajnath Singh has cured Masood ...
In this war between Israel and Iran, I stand with India. Now, don’t ask why. As your favourite General X, my interest rests in making sure that Pakistan is rented in any war, anywhere, anyhow. You can describe my current state as beghani jung mein Pakistan deewana (Pakistan going crazy in an unrelated war)
The Importance of Wars for Pakistan
Don’t blame me for the fear of missing out on a spectacular war. How else do you think we are going to become the next superpower? You know that with wars come dollars, and trust me, friends, we need lots of those dollars. Recall the heyday of Afghanistan jihad against the Soviets and then the War on Terror in Afghanistan; Pakistan made hay while Americans paid.
Strengthening Ties with Iran
That golden era needs to return. That’s why I invited the Iranian president, Ebrahim Raisi, to Pakistan. Of course, we had no love for Iran in January when it was dropping missiles on Pakistan and accusing us of terrorism. Then I told you that Iran was just as bad for us as India, now I am telling you east or west, Iran is the best.
Rajnath Singh's Actions
‘What on earth has hit Rajnath Singh?’ is a question I never thought I’d ask in this lifetime. Looks like he has started taking his job as India’s defence minister a bit too seriously. Or is he planning to replace Prime Minister Narendra Modi soon? If not the PM post, maybe he’s gunning for a spot on Bigg Boss?
This ‘angry young man’ look doesn’t suit you, my dear Singh. You looked better issuing statements of ‘kadi ninda’ (strong condemnation) like old days. Saying ghar mein ghus ke marenge (we will barge into your home and kill) is a betrayal I might never recover from.
Masood Azhar's Situation
It is due to such Indian threats that poor Jaish-e-Mohammad chief Masood Azhar had to give up his peaceful day jobs of being missing, dropping dead, remaining sick or never existing. Now the poor terrorist has become ChatGPT itself, ask him anything and he will answer.
As a global terror entrepreneur, Maulana Azhar has answers to all your questions, but no answers to his predicament—whether India will also hunt him down in his home.
Conclusion
It’s not only Masood Azhar who keeps communication channels open with followers. As your army chief, I have also made a WhatsApp group of sorts. Only businessmen who can be of use to me are on it. It’s part of my duties as the commander of the social media corps, which also puts me in charge of blocking X endlessly in Pakistan.
As the world’s ninth-strongest military, it is our duty to provide ourselves with new business opportunities. Managing livestock in the mountains of Gilgit Baltistan is our newest venture.
Sure, it might be true that apart from our duty of security we like to butt into everything. But it’s not truer than our ability to build new businesses.
