Can Holidays Be Joyful for Families After Divorce? | Psychology Today
When we fall prey to perfectionism, we think we’re honorably aspiring to be our very best, but often we’re really just setting ourselves up for failure, as perfection is impossible and its pursuit inevitably backfires.
Thanksgiving is upon us, with Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa close behind. For families experiencing divorce, these winter holidays will never be the same.
The Impact of Divorce on Holiday Traditions
In 2012, researchers Susan Brown and I-Fen Lin of Bowling Green University's National Center for Family and Marriage Research published findings revealing a significant rise in divorce rates among older couples. This trend has continued, with divorce rates among older couples tripling since 1990.
Families of divorcing Baby Boom and Gen-X couples often face complex family dynamics during the holidays. Traditions, relationships, and being together take on a new meaning post-divorce, with concerns about managing relationships and traditions looming over family members.
Resilience and Hope During Divorce
Despite the challenges, both minor and adult children often demonstrate remarkable resilience in the face of divorce. They find ways to navigate family dynamics and create new traditions, offering hope for the future.
Adult children can take charge by hosting celebrations at their homes, setting boundaries, and inviting family members to join in a civil manner. This empowerment can aid in the healing process for all family members.
Healing and Moving Forward
Divorce brings about a multitude of losses, and it's essential to acknowledge and grieve them. Recognizing the reality of divorce and allowing the family system to reorganize can lead to healing and hope for the future.
Family members affected by gray divorce can find happiness by viewing their situation as a problem to be solved rather than a battle to be won.
