OPINION: Good behaviour is its own reward
Sometimes old and wise has its own methods of gently disarming young and angry.
Understanding Good Behavior
Sometimes what feels good can actually be pretty bad. Take my recent experience, for example. For the past two weeks, I've had very little to complain about - no rude store assistants, no frustrating drivers, and absolutely nobody getting on my nerves. You might think this sounds great, but the truth is, it happened because I barely left my house and interacted with people.
It got me thinking - is avoiding people the only way to avoid conflict and irritation, or am I finally maturing? Maybe maturity goes beyond just conflict avoidance; perhaps it's about reaching a point where being a fussbundle is not even desirable.
The Origin of Bad Behavior
Children who are constantly pampered and catered to tend to grow up expecting the same treatment. This entitlement can lead to a lifetime of helplessness, always relying on others for assistance and feeling wronged when things don't go their way. This behavior persists because, consciously or unconsciously, it feels rewarding to be disagreeable.
It's evident that nobody aspires to be a fussbundle, yet many end up exhibiting bad behavior. So, how can this cycle be broken?
A Story of Change
An anecdote credited to Alfie Kohn sheds light on the possibility of change. In the story, an old man dealt with daily insults from a group of young people. Instead of reacting with anger, he offered them money to continue their behavior. However, as the reward diminished, so did their interest in being disrespectful.
Perhaps, the key to overcoming bad behavior lies in removing the rewards associated with it. When the incentive for negativity disappears, true maturity can begin to take root.
