Not Rage Quitting - by Joel Byron Barker
By now, smoking in restaurants is illegal in most states and has been for 20 years. If you are over 40, you probably clearly remember the smoking section of every restaurant. Before those laws passed, many restaurants went smoke-free of their own accord. It did not happen immediately. It happened at the speed of life over years. There were times where we were angry, silly, or hypocritical. The day a smoker read that his second-hand smoke was deadly to his favorite waitress, he probably still went to the restaurant and smoked while he drank his coffee. But five years later he was not. If he still smoked, he went outside to light up. And likely over the years he has quit. The better angels of people take time, but they bend the zeitgeist. I am hoping that our dopamine social media addiction turns in a similar direction.
Feeling Disturbed and Disconnected
I have made no objective survey, but a large amount of people that I am connected to on social media are feeling disturbed, disconnected, and used. This was somewhat true before, but the recent choices of Mark Zuckerberg have tipped a few people over an edge. There have been edges before, and some have left. Many of those have returned. It seems that Facebook’s bet is that, however distasteful it is to people, their memory of the sourness will fade and they will return to the platform. Like a dealer watching their prey go into rehab, they don’t believe it will stick. You will come back.
But the platform stinks for a lot of us. The stink has slowly grown in the 20 years that we have used Facebook. When AI-generated people-impersonators are sucking up electricity to make up things for you to view, Facebook has moved from being social media to being media of some strange new kind. My connection to it matters not just for me but for us as a society. I hope that is obvious by now. Leo and I are trying to talk about differences between Americans as interchanges not divides. Facebook is pushing us into our camps and feeding us stories that keep us divided. It knows that rage keeps us addicted. Those of us who get emotional about issues will hate how it makes us feel but keep coming back and lighting up.
The Evolution of Change
20 years. It has been a part of some American’s life as long as they can remember. But that does not mean that it will be successful forever, or remain in this form. We change. Not overnight, not in a way that works for the last act of a Marvel Universe movie, but we change. We removed lead from gas. We stopped smoking in restaurants. We can turn away from Facebook.
Some (many) have rage quit their social media apps. I appreciate the power they can summon, but I fear giving up the thing that Zuckerberg holds hostage for the advertisers; you. I still want you. I want to write to you and I want to read about you. I do not want videos of fly fishing, although I watch them when I open this app even though I just wanted to see what you are doing. I do not want un-attributed historical stories that align with my political views. I do not want political rages and fights, though I have been known to post them and I have been known to engage with them.
Looking for Alternatives
Depending on why you are on Facebook, there could be intentional replacements:
- BlueSky - Another business-operated application that functions more like Twitter than Facebook, started by one of the founders of Twitter.
- Signal - A private messaging application to keep in touch with a group of people.
- Mastodon - A platform that functions like Facebook but with differences that seem daunting at first.
- Discord - A platform where invited people can discuss things in groups.
The big question for a lot of people is what about Mastodon? Mastodon functions like Facebook but has differences that seem to be daunting for people at first. They then say that it is boring. In my mind, Mastodon is different BECAUSE it is not motivated to provide you dopamine. So we call it boring. Can you use it to create and expand community and publish your own thoughts and images? Can you get your friends on there? Perhaps! You can find me at https://mastodon.social/@joelbarker and we can give it a try.
Embracing Change
I have actually been reading paper books more. At first, this was hard as my mind was getting distracted more easily than before we found ourselves in a dopamine economy. My attention is extending now that I am reading. I am renewed in the pleasure of getting immersed in ideas and characters. The feeling that I am missing out on something fades. I am writing out what is important to social media and then I am going to take the energy to have an intentional relationship with it.
There is a lot that I don’t know. I need your help. We all need each other’s help. How would you engage in an intentional change in your relationship with Facebook? Please message me or even better post in the comments. I will read through them as we iterate to a future where we go to restaurants without a Facebook section.
